


She Deserves the World

by SuperNerd (Regina_Lupus)



Series: The Aftermath [1]
Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Post-Canon, Post-Sacrifice Arcadia Bay Ending, Revised Version, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-02-24 10:07:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13211514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Regina_Lupus/pseuds/SuperNerd
Summary: HIATUS NOTICE: This is a super delayed notice but this story is on an update hiatus. I’ve finished the revisions of the first chapters and will begin drafting the next few shortly. I’m trying a new method so I always have at least one chapter ready to be posted, this way I don’t go forever without an update again. Thank you for your patience.





	1. So Loud the Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revision Notes:  
> Added some things, tweaked some things and fixed some things, basically what’s expected of a revision. I wanted to keep it as like the original chapter as possible while also improving it and I think I did well. :) The remaining chapters will be getting the same treatment soon, though I may end merging two and three. We’ll see what I can do.

The silence in the truck’s cab was thick enough that a knife probably wouldn’t even make a scratch. Chloe had that and the seemingly endless expanse of road before her to focus on. She tried desperately to think of something else. She tried counting the faded lines on the road as they passed them, tried glancing quickly up at the clouds to find shapes in the split second she could see them. She tried to think of anything that wasn’t literally everything that just happened.

Too soon, the silence became unbearably painful. She had to break it, to say something. The first thing that came out was, “Max?”

The only indication that Chloe was heard was the slightest nod in her direction. Thankfully, she’d glanced over just in time to catch it. It hit her then like a ton of bricks; how Not-Max Max was right now. She was so silent, so beyond quiet that the word quiet wasn’t sufficient. Was she regretting her choice? Was she mourning her freedom, thinking about having Chloe now constantly at her side? Would she want Chloe to leave? What was going through her head? She forced herself out of her thoughts.

“I’m beat,” she said with false cheer, remembering that she’d asked for Max’s attention. It was a half-lie, because she needed something to say. She was tired but she doubted sleep would be in her favor for awhile. “Any strong objections to a motel room?”

“No,” was the immediate answer. Her voice pierced Chloe’s chest. It wasn’t cold and there was nothing malicious in her tone, but it wasn’t right.

Max’s voice was usually serene and warm. When it wasn’t, when it was infused with sadness or anger or fear (all of which Chloe had heard too much in this past week), there was at least something there. This... This was just numb, like there was nothing left in her to give the word heat or take heat away. It made Chloe more panicked than if her voice was filled with bitterness and hatred.

Chloe pulled into the first cheap, semi-decent motel they came across. Max followed her numbly, offering what little money she kept in her camera bag to help rent the room. That made her relax just a bit. Max was present enough to know what was going on right now, at least. Chloe worried about her wandering mind sometimes, now more so than ever.

Max collapsed on the bed, landing hard on her stomach, as soon as Chloe secured the door. She smiled a little despite herself. ‘Present enough to help pay, at least.’ She thought. Trying to force every bone in her body to remain calm and positive was wearing her down, but she had to. Max needed her to be the strong one right now.

“Yo, Max. Just gonna sleep like that? Camera bag and all?” She forced a laugh, inwardly cringing at just how shaky and stifled it all sounded. “Fucking nerd.”

Max looked up, and to Chloe’s immeasurable relief, a small smile formed on her face. It was a small, short lived victory as Chloe saw the look did not reach her eyes. She couldn’t fault her though. Max dropped her head back to the bed, smile fleeing, and her insecurities came roaring back at full force.

_‘She regrets choosing you.’_

_‘She feels obligated to stay with you now. You’ll only be a burden on her.’_

_‘What the hell has your punk ass done for her? She’s saved your life who knows how many times and you what? Take everything away from her?’_

_‘You don’t deserve to live. Your mother deserved to live. Kate Marsh deserved to live. Even David, even that Warren fucker deserved to live!’_

_‘He’d be able to make Max so much happier than you ever could.’_

That last thought was the one that broke her. A sharp pain shot though her chest and an odd ripping sound echoed in her head. She tried to place it, but was too overwhelmed to make heads or tails of anything. The world was suddenly a spinning ball of black fire and nothing made sense.

She felt something wrap around her middle and a weight hit her back, further overwhelming her mind as she tried to find explanations. She could hear a voice, and knew that it could only be Max, but she couldn’t understand. It sounded like she was suddenly underwater.

It hit her then, out of nowhere, that the ripping sound was her sobbing. The weight was Max pressing against her, trying to comfort her. Her ears were ringing, making all other sounds indistinct and far off. Her eyes were closed, which explained the sudden darkness, and she felt way too warm. Some part deep within her mind registered all of this, and immediately she hated herself.

_‘You selfish fucking idiot!’_ She snarled silently. _‘Max is probably killing herself with guilt right now and you break down! Even when you have the chance you can’t be fucking strong for her!’_

“Chloe, stop!”

Her eyes snapped open and the first thing she noticed was Max’s hands locked around her wrists in a vice grip. She had them pinned to her legs (when had she sat down?) and there was a wet heat against her neck about where Max’s head lay. Tears? Hers or Max’s? Both?

“I don’t regret choosing you,” Max said vehemently, making Chloe focus on her voice and the ghost of her breath over damp skin. “I’m tired and I feel guilty, but I don’t regret anything. I meant what I said. You are my priority now. I don’t regret my choice and I never will. And... who knows? Maybe... maybe some people would have been able to find shelter from the storm. It’s... it’s not unbelievable that they could.”

The words were spoken quietly, a little fearfully, but the passion behind them made Chloe shudder. She didn’t know what to say as she tried to grasp the little string of hope Max had tossed to her. What if people were able to survive? What if her mother was able to survive? An angrier part of her told her that even if they didn’t it wouldn’t be her fault anyway. It had been Max’s decision, Chloe had wanted her to go back. It was-

She cut that thought off aggressively, refusing to finish it; refusing to blame Max for any of this. Chloe made herself refocus her thoughts. She needed an answer to the most important question still bouncing around her head, teasing her.

Her mouth felt like sandpaper and she had to force the word out of her suddenly raw throat. “Why?”

“Why?” Max parroted back, sounding confused.

Chloe swallowed, licked her lips in an attempt to bring some moisture back. “Why did you choose me?”

“I told you,” she started, even tempered with no sign of annoyance. If anything, her voice even more gentle than usual. Which was a little haunting. “You’re my priority now.”

“But why!” Chloe shot up, jerking out of Max’s slackened grip and upsetting the balance of the smaller girl, nearly toppling her off the bed. She spun around to face her, having no room in her head to be surprised by the sudden burst of emotion. “Why am I your priority? Why me! I’m just a fucking deadbeat with too many fucking problems. I’m nothing...”

Chloe couldn’t make sense of Max’s expression. It seemed to cycle through several emotions, some mixing to create an almost conflicted look at times. Confusion became sadness and anger, that then broke and brightened like she’d gotten an idea, then she finally seemed to settle on determination. It was fascinating, seeing her face so animated, but Chloe couldn’t tell exactly why. 

Max licked her lips as she shuffled a little awkwardly off the bed. She was standing straight, at her full height, as she approached Chloe. Some super inappropriate part of Chloe’s mind wanted to laugh, because Max was four inches shorter than her, thin as a twig and shy as the does she tried to embody in most of her ‘style.’ At the moment though, the louder part of her mind felt challenged.

She was riled up, and she could tell by the look in her eyes that Max was too. Chloe felt cornered and tense, trying to gage the situation as the brunette closed in on her. She wasn’t entirely sure if she was expecting to be punched or kissed. Maybe both? Somehow? Max might normally only possess the ferocity of a kitten, but she clearly meant whatever she was about to do.

When she reached her hand up, Chloe braved herself for a punch only to be caught completely off guard and pulled by the back of her neck down to Max’s level. She closed the little remaining distance then by surging up on her toes. It took her half a second to realize what was happening, and in the next half second she’d grabbed Max around the waist and eagerly returned the kiss. 

The kiss was a little clumsy, Max was inexperienced and both were too emotional to put much thought into technique. Chloe couldn’t bring herself to care. For a blissfully long moment, she forgot about everything. She forgot about the freak weather, the time travel, the numerous times she probably should have died, the worry that ate at her about how many of those times she actually did die before her superhero swooped in to save the day. She forgot about everything. The only thing she cared to think about was her childhood best friend pressed against her and the rush of emotion coursing through her.

It felt like hours that this occupied her mind, but it was more likely only half a minute if even that. Something in her mind refused to understand the concept of time. When they did finally part, however long that was, Chloe’s mind was still reeling. Max’s eyes were bright and present, shiny with tears but brimming with bliss. She was unabashed as she stared, breath stuttering as she tried to find her voice. Chloe was so stunned that she almost missed what she said when she did manage to find it again.

“You’re everything,” she breathed, voice low and passionate. She said it with so much confidence, so much strength, that Chloe was reminded just how much she’d grown this past week. She was simultaneously the same shy girl Chloe had known forever, and someone so confident in her choices that she stuck by them even through a fucking time tornado of destruction.

Chloe was too overwhelmed by the continued barrage of emotions. She couldn’t comprehend them all right now. All she could do was pull the younger woman close and bury her face in her hair. Max returned the embrace eagerly, nuzzling into her chest. Chloe barely registered that Max had whispered something. She couldn’t hear what it was regardless. Likely, if she had heard it, the critical meltdown state her brain seemed to be in would only get worse.

The string of hope that had seemed almost impossible to grasp earlier wound around several more, and Chloe gripped it with all her might and will. She knew this wouldn’t be easy for either of them. She knew Max knew it too. She might not be the smartest person around but she wasn’t stupid. They had their problems and, Chloe realized and accepted in a single beat of her still racing heart, they’d have to work through them. She knew this deep down, but as long as she had Max by her side she felt like she could conquer the world.

She half groaned, half laughed at the thought before she could stop herself. Max tried to lean back, probably to give her an adorably perplexed look, but Chloe held her tight. She could begrudgingly feel a blush creeping on to her face already. Max already had endless amounts of blackmail material against her, so give her this too?

“You’re already turning me into a sap, Caulfield,” she grumbled, her heart lifting when Max giggled. How did this feel so natural already? “No! No being cute!”

This spurred her into a fit of giggles. She half turned, dropping her arms around Chloe’s waist and resting her head against her shoulder. The joy on her face was genuine this time, the horrors and exhaustion momentarily forgotten by both of them. Chloe felt lighter than air for the first time in five years as her eyes met with bright pools of blue. She thought that, for that smile and that laugh, she’d be as sappy as a fucking romcom.

Max pressed the most gentle kiss to her cheek, then took her hand and led her silently to the single bed. She slipped her bag off her shoulder, kicked off her shoes and began laboriously peeling off most of her still damp clothing. Max shivered and looked almost surprised, like she hadn’t even noticed she was cold. Chloe had to suppress a grin, then a laugh at herself when she suddenly noticed that she hadn’t noticed how cold it was until this moment. She followed Max’s lead and they crawled under the covers in little more than their shirts and underwear.

Once both were comfortable (or as comfortable as one can get on an uncomfortable mattress), Chloe made it a point to pull the younger girl close and tight to her chest. Max snuggled right up without reservation, face practically buried against Chloe’s chest. She had one arm tight around her and the other tucked up between them. She nuzzled into her companion’s hair again, sighing softly. Shit was going to hit the fan eventually, but they could get through it.

Max deserved the world. Chloe would give it to her.


	2. To Deafen the Attentive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revision Notes:  
> Here is the revision of chapter two, which is probably more accurately described as chapter two and half of chapter three. I wanted to merge them at a better stopping point that wasn’t as cliché. I’m personally happier with it. :) Like chapter one, it’s also been edited and added to.

Chloe woke up confused. 

She felt like she’d only been asleep for a few minutes. Her eyes were heavy and aching as she tried to figured out what had woken her up. Things thought with a half-awake brain never really made much sense to her though. It took her a moment to even remember where she was and how she got there. It came back to her in a trickle of insight at first. Then a soft whimper at her side caused a dam to burst, suddenly flooding her with the missing pieces of her memory puzzle.

She looked toward the sound, blinking in hopes of adjusting her eyes to the low light. It took her a moment, but she could just make out Max’s form curled up into a ball. She jerked in her sleep once, and Chloe got the impression that she was trembling softly. She was panting, and another whimper escaped her. And Chloe knew immediately what was happening.

But she had absolutely no fucking clue how to help.

She sat up quickly, watching as Max squirmed in agony at whatever hell her mind had her trapped in. Should she wake her up? Chloe vaguely remembered something about it being dangerous to wake someone having a nightmare. Or was that if they were sleep walking? Was that even true at all? She froze in her panic, trying to make a quick decision. Of course, this was the time her mind chose to overthink everything. She didn’t want to leave Max at the mercy of her mind, but waking her might make her panic worse all the same. 

Chloe bit back a venomous curse, deciding to wake her as she figured it was the lesser of the two evils. Before she could reach out and shake her shoulder, Max shot up with eyes wide open. The sudden movement startled Chloe, who reeled back a bit as she tried to process what was happening. Max’s breath was coming in a rush, like she’d just been running for her life. Chloe nearly reached out then and grabbed her in a desperate attempt to shield her from everything.

She forced herself to stop when she saw the faraway look on Max’s face. Her eyes were hazy and unfocused, Searching for something in the shadows. She looked like she didn’t know where she was. Some wiser part of Chloe’s mind told her that suddenly being touched would likely frighten the brunette unreasonably. _She’s scared enough as it is,_ she told herself. _Be gentle, Price._

“Max?” Chloe called carefully, trying to bring Max back to the present as easily as possible.

She jumped and snapped her head toward her fast enough that Chloe worried she’d give herself whiplash. Or at least a seriously wicked crick in the neck.

In any other situation, the look on Max’s face might have been comical. Now though, it just heighten Chloe’s own half-suppressed panic. She looked simultaneously confused, relieved and like she was seeing a ghost. She blinked too many times, looked away, then seemed to regain some level of composure. When Max looked back, her eyes were more present but still frightened. Chloe barely had time to reach for her before Max launched herself bodily at the taller woman.

Chloe landed hard on the bed, the whimpering photographer wrapped in her arms and huddled against her chest. She felt a slight pain in her side from landing funny, but chose to ignore it for now. Max was mumbling but Chloe was hard pressed to understand it. Her words bled into one another. 

“Shh,” she cooed softly, stroking Max’s hair. “You’re safe, Max. We’re both safe.”

Max was clearly panicking, but Chloe was absolutely floundering. She wasn’t good at offering verbal comfort, but hugs she could do pretty damn well in her modest opinion. It might help if she could understand what Max was saying. And if she’d had more experience with being the comforting one in the past. And if her hips weren’t bent at a weird angle that was kind of starting to ache pretty badly.

_Focus, Price._

After several moments, Max progressively calmed and settled against her. She was trembling but her soft whimpering had quieted. Chloe was trying to think about her options, trying to decide what she could do. Would asking her about her nightmare be bad? She herself had never wanted to talk about hers. Should she just wait for Max to decide on something? Should she try to help Max get back to sleep? That seemed stupid, even to her.

“I can hear you thinking,” Max said softly, punctuating it with a pitiful sniffle. There was the barest hint of playfulness in her tear thickened voice. It was a little forced, but Chloe elected to ignore that part.

“Or did I say something dumb and you rewound to warn me in your special Max-y way?” Sarcasm was good. Sarcasm was safe. Chloe knew what she was doing when she could simply tease and joke around. Her head made more sense. Her feelings were easier to deal with, or ignore.

Max laughed, a real yet soft laugh that radiated affection. The sound sent Chloe’s heart aflutter. “You’re ridiculous,” she said quietly, adjusting herself to lay more comfortably.

Chloe sang silent praises to whatever gods wanted to listen as she was finally able to straighten her spine.

“Maybe, but you’re laughing,” Chloe purred, twisting down to briefly nuzzle her neck. It made Max giggle again; ticklish, Chloe knew. “That’s a win in my book.”

They lapsed into silence then, Chloe gently stroking patterns into Max’s back in hopes of soothing any lingering pain she couldn’t ease with her oh so eloquent tongue. She heard the younger girl sigh contentedly after a moment, and relax completely against her. She kept up her impromptu finger painting practice, finding the motions soothing to even herself. She had thought Max had fallen asleep again after several moments of still silence, but she suddenly tensed. She wiggled a bit before sitting up, looking awkward. And adorable, but that wasn’t new.

Then again neither was the awkward, really, but that was neither here nor there.

Chloe arched a brow at her, waiting. Max wasn’t looking at her when she spoke. “This is kind of... delayed. Well, very delayed. I-I know a lot’s happened with... everything and-“

She cut herself off, groaning softly. She covered her face with her hands. Chloe was confused, but tried to avoid jumping to any odd conclusions. Instead and completely ignoring her stupid inner critic, she sat up and wrapped her arms tight around Max from behind. She rested her chin on the brunette’s shoulder and hoped the gesture was comforting in some way.

She sighed heavily, dropping her hands. “I was kind of impulsive, earlier. I... I know you-“

She was still confused for a moment, then something clicked. She had to suppress a twinge of humor as she thought that this was indeed a little delayed, but that humor was quickly crushed by the seriousness that seemed to want to make a permanent home inside her head. She knew what Max was worried about, and she’d briefly thought about it too. She didn’t have all the pieces in place, but she felt she owed Max an explanation of some sort. It was literally the least she could do for her at this point.

“I kissed you back, nerd. If I wasn’t okay with it, I wouldn’t have.” She squeezed Max reassuringly then closed her eyes. This part would be harder. “Yeah, I... still love Rachel. I probably always will, in a way, but that doesn’t mean I can’t love you too. I-You...“

She needed to say more, wanted to say more. She wanted to say how, if this last week had taught her one thing, it’s that Max is better for her than Rachel in more ways than she could probably know. Rachel had helped her when she needed it and she would always love her for that. The blonde would forever hold a place in her heart, even if there was a sting of betrayal tagged there too. Chloe doubted she’d ever really get why Rachel had done what she’d done, but there’s no going back now. Even if Max can, Chloe didn’t want her too. She didn’t want some fantasy life with Rachel anymore. She wanted her life with Max, because Max is and has always been something very special to her. And Max, for some reason beyond her comprehension, seems to want a life with her too.

Chloe had been furious with her for the five years of radio silence, yet the minute she’d seen her again that anger... Well, it didn’t completely fade but it had been knocked down several pegs on her list of jumbled up emotions. Then she learned the Max had saved her life, and then Max continued to save her life. She put herself through hell, hurt herself to keep Chloe alive, tried to give Chloe a better life and even used her powers for Chloe’s own childish enjoyment. She had to fight off a wave of self-loathing every time she remembered that part.

Max had trespassed, stollen, nearly fucking shot someone in her defense, risked her scholarship and reputation to keep Chloe slightly out of trouble for at least five minutes. She did all of this and more, living with the guilt of these things yet never taking them back. Max was something infinitely special, infinitely precious. She wanted to tell Max that her love for Rachel, while still real, couldn’t even hope to compare to her love for Max. She wanted to say all of this, but it caught it in her throat.

She was getting frustrated, half afraid of scaring Max off and half afraid of how fucking strong the emotions were in general. Chloe never claimed to be good with emotions, especially verbalizing them. She glared to the side with an ineloquent grunt of agitation.

Max generally patted her arm in an attempt to sooth her. Chloe would never admit how much it actually helped. “It’s okay, Chlo. I understand. You don’t have to explain.”

“I know,” she said softly, both frustrated and relieved. “I just... I wanted to. I fucking suck at this... ‘emotional openness’ bullshit.”

Max turned to press a gentle kiss to Chloe’s cheek. “Not a punk’s forte?” The gentle teasing eased her unchecked tension. Even if the humor behind it was a little shaky, Max was feeling comfortable enough to tease her and that was the important part. “Don’t worry, I’m not much better at it.”

Chloe scoffed, looking at Max with a sly grin. “Yeah, but when you fail it’s adorable. When I do it, it’s just fucking sad.”

The photographer pulled a face, her eyes squinting slightly and her nose scrunching up, before sticking her tongue out and trying halfheartedly to wriggle away. Having none of this, Chloe held her tighter before falling back against the bed again. Max came with her easily, laughing softly.

“Not a chance, hippie,” she purred, nuzzling her hair. “You’re stayin’ with me, now and forever.”

“Nowhere I’d rather be, dork.”

Chloe silently marveled at Max’s ability to sound so serious while calling her a dork in the same breath. As this thought took over her mind, bringing a smirk to her lips, Max curled herself slightly to press her back to Chloe’s chest. Almost unconsciously, she curled around her so their bodies fit together. A comfortable silence lapsed between them. Chloe was close to drifting off again when Max spoke softly into the midnight darkened room.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep again, at least for a little bit.” The edge of despair in her voice cut Chloe like a razor blade. “You should get some rest though.”

Chloe scoffed, deciding then and there that she would remain awake until Max was able to sleep again. She didn’t say this, but she hoped the squeeze to her waist was enough to portray the sentiment. She couldn’t leave her partner in time hanging, after all.

Or at least, that had been her plan.

Gentle fingers brushed through her hair, stirring Chloe from her sleep. Her first thoughts were of the simple pleasure of the gesture. She felt a smile start to spread across her face. Her next few thoughts revolved around guessing the time going by the dim light she could make out behind her still shut eyelids. She had no way of knowing for sure right now, but she guessed it was still early. 

She didn’t want to move or open her eyes. She didn’t want to alert Max to her being awake, just Incase she’d stop stroking her hair if she did know. Whatever was causing this unsteady calm between and around them, Chloe didn’t want it to go away. Shit was going to hit the fan, and it was going to hit hard, but for now she felt almost normal. She’s be perfectly content to remain in this moment forever.

Until, like a swift punch in the gut, Chloe realized something that should have been obvious from the start.

In order to wake up, you had to have been asleep.

All her good mood fled when she couldn’t remember if Max had fallen asleep before her. It was replaced quickly with the anger she was too familiar with. She knew Max wouldn’t be upset with her, yet somehow that just made her angrier. Max should be angry. Max should be completely regretting her choice because Chloe only seemed to prove how unworthy of the brunette’s affection she was at every turn.

Her eyes started to sting. She squeezed them more tightly shut while resisting the urge to curl in on herself.

“Chlo?” Max’s voice, almost perpetually concerned at this point, caught her attention. The hand in her hair stilled, then dropped to her shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

She felt her jaw tense as her teeth clamped shut, too hard. She heard them click together and hopped Max hadn’t. Chloe tried to play it off like she was still asleep. She’d told Max (indirectly) that she’s had nightmares before, frequent enough to warrant the assumption that this might just be another one. For a beat of silence, she assumed that her poorly executed rouse had worked. Then Max sighed heavily.

“I know you’re awake.” She didn’t elaborate further. Self-loathing rose in her throat when she heard the annoyed edge in Max’s tone.

Desperate for safety, for refuge from her own storm of emotions, she tried sarcasm. “How do you know?”

_Fuck!_  She swore at herself. Her voice dripped with more venom than she had anticipated. _Lie better, Price!_

Max flinched, retracting her hand like she’d been electrocuted. It shouldn’t have been as terrifying as it was. Chloe’s eyes shot open. She pulled herself into a partially reclined position, leaning on her elbows and studied Max’s face carefully.

She sort of looked... confused? That’s the only way Chloe could think to describe the look. She looked present, her eyes weren’t cloudy or glassy, but they weren’t really focused either. She looked like she was trying to solve the most difficult puzzle she’d ever encountered. Too many emotions were battling behind her eyes. Chloe tried to identify them, but some of them flashed by too fast.

The silence that fell between them was heavy, laden with unspoken words and mangled emotions that slowly began eating away at Chloe’s unsteady wall of apathy. Doubts flooded her mind again, and  _that_  voice became almost unbearably loud inside her head.

_‘Why would she stay with you?’_ It snapped. _‘What do you have to offer her? She probably just thinks she loves you because of everything that’s happened! You’re a coping mechanism and nothing else. As soon as she gets better, as soon as she moves on, she’ll leave you behind. It’s exactly what you fucking deserve.’_

Max looked away. “What’s the plan?”

Chloe’s mind buffered against the sudden, unexpected switch in the conversation. She had been sure Max would push to try and understand Chloe’s mood, but here she was just letting it go. It was as much a relief as it was absolutely heartbreaking. The older teen took that moment to inspect her face in detail again. She looked like she hadn’t slept properly in days, which may well have been the case. Chloe also noticed, just barely, the red tinge to her eyes. She’d been crying and guilt ate away at Chloe’s gut.

Suddenly, Max looked at her and raised an eyebrow. Chloe remembered she’d asked her something.

“I-I’m not sure.” She said it quietly, ashamed that she had literally no idea where to go from here. All she knew was that she planned to be Max’s shadow for however long the brunette would allow it. It felt inappropriate to say that though, so she didn’t.

She looked away again, worrying her lip. Chloe noticed her rubbing her wrists to. She narrowed her eyes at the action. That was new.

“My parents,” Max started, almost inaudible. Chloe noticed with a note of confusion that she sounded guilty. “they... They want us to come up to Seattle, stay with them. Mom called, again, while you were asleep.”

She nodded toward her phone where it sat charging on the bedside table. Chloe didn’t spare it a glance. She sat up and scooted closer to the photographer, touching her shoulder delicately. She was almost afraid a too harsh touch would break her.

“What’s wrong, Max?” She pressed, ducking her head to try and catch her downturned eyes. Max simply turned her head further away.

“N-nothing.” She switched gears quickly. “We could always go to Portland, or Las Angeles. Anywhere, really. I’ll think of something to say while we’re on the road.”

Before Chloe could respond, or press on about what was obviously bothering her, Max stood. She busied herself with redressing in the only clothes she had.. She refused to look at Chloe.

_‘She regrets choosing you,’_ that evil voice sneered at her. _‘She’ll live the rest of her life sad and in pain because of you. She’ll stay with you because she feels obligated to but she’ll never be happy! You can’t make her happy.’_

She shoved the thoughts away, forced herself to stop thinking. Quickly, she decided to take Max to her parents in Seattle and go from there. Nodding to herself, she followed Max’s lead in getting dressed and collecting what few belongings they had with them.


	3. And Swallow their Cries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revision Notes:  
> Here’s the second half of the original chapter three and chapter four, compressed into one nice sized chapter. :) From here I’ll be continuing the story with new chapters detailing Max and Chloe actually working through things and getting a less fleeting happy ending. Because they deserve happiness and I will here nothing against it. xD

The same heavy silence that had fallen over them earlier stuck with them as they drove along road after road. It was suffocating and weighed on Chloe’s chest like a pile of stones meant to crush her lungs. She couldn’t bring herself to break it though; she didn’t know how to. There were so many things she wanted to say, or needed to say. She couldn’t organize her thoughts. There was too much to say, too much between them that neither knew how to address. So, Chloe stayed quiet.

About halfway there, Max figured out where they were going. Chloe saw from the corner of her, the guilt wash over her face once again. She wanted to ask, but she didn’t. Her throat closed around the words. Max stayed silent until she needed to give directions. They were short, simply commands that somehow truly didn’t penetrate the silence between them. She could hear her perfectly, but the air was still weighted. They brought no comfort from the weight on Chloe’s chest.

The rest of the day was a hazy blur of Chloe battling to keep from breaking down. She could see Max doing the same as Ryan and Vanessa fussed over them. Vanessa took every opportunity to hug her daughter, and each time brought something vile out of the darkest depths of Chloe’s mind.

_‘How dare she still have her parents! Both of mine are dead!’_

Every time that irrationally jealous thought crossed her mind, Chloe hated herself a little more. William’s death wasn’t Max’s fault, neither was Joyce’s. She tried to hold out hope that maybe her mom was able to survive, but the dread was winning over as it usually did. Hope was too painful. Hope could raise you up only to throw you down and shatter you into pieces.

Chloe remained quiet and held herself together while Max explained what she could to her parents, sans time travel and their ace detective work. Max’s voice sounded tired, and that hurt too. She didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve any of this pain, this complete exhaustion. And she definitely didn’t deserve Chloe’s stupid jealousy. Nothing was Max’s fault. Nothing was Max’s fault..

She tried not to think  _it’s all my fault._

They tried to put Chloe up in the guest room. She wasn’t going to argue. The fact that they were letting her stay and that they didn’t question her dramatic change was more than she could ask for. Normally she would have loved that kind of attention and chance to get in some grade A teenaged back talking teasing, but she wasn’t feeling it today. She just wanted to lay her head anywhere they’d give her and pretend she didn’t exist for awhile.

She was surprised when Max was the one to argue.

“She can stay with me, if she wants to,” she’d said quietly, angling herself so she was standing between her parents and Chloe. It was odd how protective it seemed. Chloe decided to ignore that thought, and deny the stirring hope in her heart once again.

Her parents (particularly Vanessa) seemed a little stunned, but they didn’t argue. Chloe wondered if they were also confused by the sudden protectiveness, then remembered that she wasn’t thinking about that right now.

Up in Max’s room, the crushing silence persisted. Chloe wanted to snoop around, to find out what Max had been like those five years they were apart, but she was too exhausted. She spent several moments staring blankly at the wall like it held the answers to all her questions just out of reach. The thought of that made her want to punch straight through it. Dry wall was easy to punch through with enough force, as long as you didn’t hit a stud.

She spent a moment entertaining this thought, then shook it away. The wall didn’t have her answers, beating it up was probably a bad idea.

Chloe turned her attention to Max, who had flopped onto the bed while she was in her stupor. Her body language and expression were confusing. She was curled up in a fetal ball, facing Chloe, with the most vulnerable expression Chloe’s pretty sure she’s ever seen on anything. Her heart seized in her chest. She looked like she was expecting to be beaten, or at the very least yelled at.

The punk shook her head, glared down at her feet and tried to find her words again. They didn’t seem to want to come to her. She sighed regretfully and gave up trying to talk. Maybe it would be easier tomorrow. She was too tired right now.

Chloe moved to the bed, collapsed at Max’s side and pulled her in tight. In hindsight, jerking her roughly forward by the front of her shirt had probably been a stupid idea, but Max didn’t pull away. She didn’t even fight, like she just accepted whatever Chloe had planned to do to her. When she wrapped her arms tight around her friends shoulders, burying her nose in light brown hair once more, Max’s arms came around her just as tightly. Max nuzzled her chest, cuddling close like she didn’t want to be anywhere else.

A small, weak smile spread across Chloe’s face at that thought. The hope in her heart rebelled against her mind, and began to rise.

Neither cared that they were in days old clothes and laying on top of the comforter. Neither cared that they hadn’t spoken to each other for almost the entire day. The exhaustion they could both feel had gone bone deep, and they simply wanted to rest.

The silence lingered into the next day, when both woke up late in the afternoon from a dead sleep. It should have been upsetting, but Chloe didn’t have it in her to feel it. She also didn’t understand how someone can sleep so long and still feel so tired, but she did. She could tell by the look on Max’s face that she did too. 

Neither made an attempt to get up. They lay there, holding each other tightly while unabashedly staring. Chloe couldn’t understand Max’s expression so she focused on sorting out her own thoughts. It was dangerous, almost literally a minefield, but if she didn’t do this now then she wasn’t sure if she would ever have the balls to try again. She focused on the emotions that stirred up within her when she looked at the one person that had chosen her over everything.

Complete awe at the amount of strength within her little hipster, gratitude on such a primal level that she wasn’t sure she even had words to describe it, love so strong that Chloe was equal parts thrilled and terrified. Then, lurking behind all that, unworthiness and guilt. She didn’t deserve her life when an entire town suffered for it. She didn’t deserve Max’s love and devotion. She’d only drag her down. She shouldn’t be able to be here, holding her best friend and staring into her beautiful doe eyes.

Then behind that, a sort of bewildered anger.

How could Max choose her over people like Kate Marsh, who she’d agonized over talking down from the dormitory roof. Or her mother, who put up with Chloe’s bullshit behavior for five years. Hell, even David deserved better! Yes he was an overly suspicious prick with anger issues, but he at least cared about Joyce and he helped them bust Jefferson in the end. He deserved better than to just... be dead. Part of her wanted to pin all of this on Max. It had been her decision in the end afterall.

A larger, louder, more dominant part hated herself for even think that. She couldn’t keep pinning her problems on people that didn’t deserve it and running away. This was her fault. Her stupid, reckless decisions led her to be in that bathroom, in front of the barrel of Nathan Prescott’s gun. Her dumbass decisions led to almost ever instance of Max using and over using her powers. This was her fault, and she needed to accept that.

A hand on her cheek draw her out of her thoughts, and she came face to face with a seriously pissed off looking Max. It was actually kind of terrifying. Max didn’t get angry, as in  _angry_  angry, very often. She got annoyed, she got frustrated, but rarely did she get as angry as she looked right now.

“Don’t you ever say that again.”  _Say what? Shit was I saying all that!_  “You gave me a choice and I made the one I could live with. I don’t want to live in a world where you don’t exist! I don’t want to think that you’ll never be able to smile or laugh or even yell at me ever again! I don’t want everything we went through this week to mean... nothing. If I remembered it all, and you... died, thinking that no one cared-“

Max’s voice broke and hitched on a sob. Her eyes slammed shut, tears rolling down her cheeks once more. Chloe was vaguely surprised she had any tears left, then completely confused by that thought. She shoved that away and pulled Max close once more. Of course, when she wanted to say something her words refused to come to her. How typical.

“It’s not fair,” Max mumbled, voice muffled with how buried in Chloe’s chest she was. “You deserve to be happy.”

“And what about you?” Chloe finally managed. Her voice was thick and she swallowed around an uncomfortable lump. Trying to hold in her own tears was becoming futile. “You said it yourself. You’re feeling guilty as fuck for what happened, even though it’s not your fault either. Are me and my happiness really worth that?”

Max pulled back enough to meet Chloe’s eyes. Her breathing had picked up, and the anger was now mixed with desperation. “It’s worth anything. I’d sacrifice myself if it meant you could have the chance to be happy.”

Chloe froze, heart stopping in her chest before picking up double time. Somehow she knew exactly where Max’s mind was heading. She needed to cut that train of thought off permanently and immediately.

“No,” the word was forceful, but quiet. She held Max’s gaze, saw immediately the effect her tone had. “That would have destroyed any chances of me ever being happy again completely. Get that fucking thought out of your head now. I don’t want you even considering that sacrificing yourself for my mistakes is even remotely a good idea!”

Max opened her mouth to speak, and Chloe was having none of it.

She swooped in on pure impulse to keep her from arguing, pressed her lips hard to the shorter girl’s and promptly invaded the space with her tongue. Max gave a muffled squeak of surprise, wriggled momentarily as if trying to pull away, then submitted to the kiss with reckless abandon. Her hand went to cup the back of Chloe’s neck, short nails digging in, just as Chloe roughly grabbed a fistful of short brown hair.

Chloe wasn’t sure which part of her thought this was a good idea. Maybe because she knew it was a horrible idea, because she’s angry, and Max is angry and this felt more like some bizarre extension of their argument than a proper kiss. They’re both too tense, the kiss is rough and sloppy, teeth clicking and catching on lip and tongue. She vaguely registered the taste of blood, and an extra warm wetness between them. She nearly relented at that point out of fear that she’d hurt Max, then the photographer whined and sagged against her. Her grip loosened and her kiss gentled. Chloe followed suit, eventually breaking the kiss to assess the damage she’d done.

They were both breathing heavily, tear tracks running down their cheeks and blood on their lips. Chloe didn’t know who’s lip was busted. She didn’t feel any pain, but that meant little after the spike of adrenaline that had shot through her. She couldn’t see any cut on Max’s lips, but it may have been hidden. She pressed three short, apologetic kisses to Max’s lips just in case. Max sniffled and looked up at her. She didn’t seem hurt or even dazed by the fact that she could undoubtedly taste blood.

_All the nosebleeds most have-_  Chloe quickly cut that thought off, and pressed a few more tiny kisses to her lips. Max smiled faintly, tiredly, then hoisted herself into a sitting position to grab a box of tissues from the bedside stand.

Chloe didn’t admit that she’d been weirdly proud when they discover a gash in her own lower lip.

The rest of the day, and the following two days, they didn’t talk much. They were also scarcely away from each other. The only time they were apart is when one needed to use the restroom, and Chloe knew it was irrational to be as anxious as she was when Max was out of her sight. It was probably unhealthy. She had an idea that Max’s parents were starting to notice. They would give them concerned looks every time Max followed Chloe outside when she needed a smoke, knowing all too well how much Max hated the smell as much as the concept.

Another thing they both adamantly avoided was the news, any news, regarding Arcadia Bay. Max had wanted to see if they’d found any survivors, and who didn’t make. Chloe had physically held her down and nearly begged her not to do that to herself, not to torture herself over it. Max had argued, Chloe hadn’t relented. Eventually, Max did. She seemed too tired to argue for long; her sleeping hours were either restless or plagued with nightmares.

Neither admitted to staring at their phones and willing some sort of contact to come.

When it did, on the fourth day at the Caulfield house, it somehow managed to catch them both off guard.

They were sitting back to back on what had become their shared bed, staring at their respective walls and thinking their respective thoughts. Chloe had begun to wonder, to worry really, if this deafening silence hanging between them would ever go away. There was so much they needed to talk about, so much that needed to be worked through, but neither seemed capable of bringing any of it up without dissolving into tears or ending up angry. It hurt Chloe deeply that she was doing nothing for Max but seemingly making her more miserable.

They both jumped out of their skin when Max’s phone started to ring. She composed herself, shakily, and grabbed it. Her eyes widened and she answered faster than Chloe thought humanly possible. The punk only had a moment to wonder who it was before Max breathed a relieved “Kate,” and started to cry. Chloe held her tight from behind, and subtly tried to eavesdrop.

She couldn’t hear Kate well enough to make out what she said, but she could tell she was relieved.

“Y-yeah,” Max stuttered, voice rough from disuse. “I was outside town with Chloe when it happened. We’re both-“ she paused for a split second to look over her shoulder at Chloe, then continued without looking away. “Uninjured. At my parent’s house in Seattle. Are you alright?”

_Yeah, definitely not ‘alright.’_ Chloe thought a little bitterly.

Kate presumably said something else, or was explaining her condition. Chloe forgot she was suppose to be eavesdropping. Max’s eyes carried a spark of something she never thought she’d see again. The past few days, she’d seen only sadness, anger, guilt, fright or a sort of... glassy hollowness in her eyes. Now, they held a spark of hope. She felt it start to stir in her own chest again, and hesitantly left it alone.

She looked away, licked her lips with a sort of sense of urgency about her. “Can you tell me who all was there, after the storm?”

As the list of names was given, Max seemed to grow more relieved. Chloe was getting increasingly anxious, fidgeting in place. There was one person in particular she was concerned about. Chloe squeezed Max’s waist. The photographer’s free hand reached down and gripped her arm reassuringly.

When Kate apparently finished whatever she was listing off (likely Blackwell students), Max asked in a surprisingly even tone, “Do you know anything about Joyce Price?”

Time seemed to freeze and Chloe became hyperaware of everything. Max’s face was more expressive than it had been since the night in the motel. Chloe was willing to bet she had the same expression of mingled hope, anxiety and anticipation. She could feel Max’s hand gripping tight to her arm, imagined that her knuckles must be going white. She could feel every breath Max took with her chest pressed against the shorter girl’s back. Even that seemed to be too slow.

Was Max use to this feeling, too? Was this similar to what reversing time felt like?

Then, every ounce of tension left Max’s thin frame and her sigh was so filled with relief that Chloe felt like doing a backflip in pure joy. A real smile broke across Max’s face, which was promptly turned on Chloe who returned it wholeheartedly without so much as a thought.. She knew she was missing details. But that didn’t matter right now. She could figure those out later. 

“Thank you, Kate,” she said into the phone, eyes still locked on a literally bouncing Chloe. “Thank you so much. I’m so happy your safe and alright.”

A few more moments passed of the two talking, in which Chloe was almost putting forth a physical effort to restrain herself from tackling her partner. Once the phone was safety out of harms way however, there was no stopping the attack.

They fell hard to the bed in an awkward position, both laughing and grinning like idiots. Max nuzzled her way into Chloe’s shoulder, listing off name gleefully. Joyce was first, then Chloe stopped paying attention. They were both crying, but this time the tears were joyous. The shadows that loomed around them were momentarily chased off. The hazy fog of the heavy silence was breaking, giving way to new things. Some of the crushing weight had been lifted, for now.

Maybe this peace wouldn’t last. There was still a lot to work through, but Chloe didn’t care at the moment. Let that come when it will. Here and now she had her best friend pressed close to her, laughing and smiling without a care in the world. She felt alive again, she felt young again. When she looked into Max’s bright eyes, she felt absolutely invincible.

This time, the kiss they shared was filled with passion and happiness. They met in the middle, both having the idea at the same exact moment. It wasn’t a long kiss, but Chloe felt damn sure she could fly if she wanted to afterward.

“Us against the universe,” she said with a full, unendingly confident grin.

Max returned one of her own, and Chloe felt a parade of butterflies in her belly. “And we hella kicked its ass.”

“You’re damn right we did, Caulfield!”

She giggled, actually giggled, for this first time in too long. Her arms snaked around Chloe’s neck and they found themselves sealed once more in their own private little bubble.

Chloe didn’t mind at all.


End file.
